"One less person to care for" Or "Is it really that bad to be a single parent?"

Is it really sad that we have lost or are losing our nuclear families in the United States?  What has happened to the good old days when children could grow up with two parents fulfilling their roles dutifully providing stability and modeling proper social behavior and laying the groundwork for the next generations values, morals and aspirations.  Where has the typical family gone?

What is our idea of what a typical family was?  Dad went to work early in the morning and mom stayed home to watch the kiddos and when the kids went to school maybe she got a part time job to help contribute in some way to the family financial freedom and stability.  When dad got off work he would go out with the boys to maintain his social standing and come home just in time for mom to have dinner ready and the kids homework finished so that the family could enjoy a nice dinner together before mom prepared the kids for bed and cleaned up the kitchen.  Dad meanwhile would enjoy a beer while catching up on the news or latest sporting event and unwind from his stressful day.  Mom would then join him with her magazine or readers digest while he finished his time needed to recover from the trials of the day.  Yes I’m overgeneralizing but you get the gist.

So what was mom’s life like before?  Work all day taking care of the kids only to take care of dad when he got home.  Wait, what?  And what about same sex parents?  Did they not exist?  In fact they did and do exist and research shows that they do a better job at sharing responsibilities raising children than do heterosexual couples.* 

Many single parents don’t suffer from the dysfunctional relationships that many cohabitating partners do.  Staying together just for the kids may be doing more harm than good.  Parents often spend so much time dealing with the challenges in their relationship with their partner that they both end up ignoring the children in the process and the children suffer.  This, by the way, is a great time for the kids to start acting out seeking attention of any sort.  The kids behavior may add fodder to the parental conflict and result in the parents resolve to stay together for the kids.  Maybe sometimes it is better to stay together, if you’re able to work things out and deal with your relationship issues without ignoring the children.  Other times allowing a separation between partners will allow both partners to focus more on their role as parent.  Abuse, parents who travel the majority of the time and parents that simply check out, shouldn’t get a pass just because they sleep under the same roof once in a while.  Not all cohabitating parents are truly living in a dual parenting household.

Sometimes a single parent simply has one less troublesome person to care for.

*http://www.salon.com/2013/06/05/worlds_largest_study_on_gay_parents_finds_the_kids_are_more_than_all_right/